The Sign of Jumbling Fortune
Photo of a yellow road sign with a few jumbled numbers and letters. It is leant up against the side of a brick bridge and there are lots of dead leaves on the ground.
I have to say that I was excited to find this sign! It’s been a long time since I encountered the Numberplate of Destiny, so to find the Sign of Jumbling Fortune was, well, a sign! A sign the universe had another message for me, a sign that my quest was not in vain, a sign that I had eyes for seeing and ears for hearing, a sign that the universe was rewarding my careful, quiet attention with a message.
Before I reveal the potent and timely message the Sign of Jumbling Fortune had for me, let me first explain the way it works. As with a great many other naturally magical artefacts, it works best if you are carrying a stick. Thankfully I had picked up three yew sticks on that walk, and was thus able to divine a rather complicated message. However, the Jumbling Sign recognises that three sticks can be awkward to carry, so will perform its fortune telling for those who only have one stick. It said even a twig would do if you’re hard pressed.
A stick is important as the Jumbling Sign works somewhat like a ouija board. One must first take a firm grip on the end of one’s stick whilst saying a prayer of gratitude and quiet attention. It helps if you have your eyes closed and you are breathing from your belly at this point. What I should have said earlier, is that when you first encounter the sign, it will actually be empty. The letters and numbers seen in the photo are the residue of the message it had for me.
So yes, you’ve said your prayer and breathed your breaths, and now your eyes are open and staring deeply into the yellow sun of the Jumbling Sign. You want to open your eyes extra wide at this point, so that the world goes a little out of focus and your brain kind of pulsates at the exertion. Next, raise your stick before you and take as many steps forward as is necessary until your stick makes contact with the Jumbling Sign.
At this juncture, you must stop and perform a terribly difficult feat: you must relax all of your body except your stick carrying arm. It is imperative that the stick remains in contact with the Jumbling Sign, but that the rest of you enters into a relaxed and meditative state. It is possible that you will want to practice this posture for a few weeks before making your pilgrimage to the Jumbling Sign, so you know you are ready for the real deal event.
Once you have entered into the relaxed state, your eyes will be closed and you should have a slow, steady belly breath. It is then that the magic starts to happen: slowly your arm will move as if animated by an external force and you will trace out words and letters on the Jumbling Sign with your stick. When your arm stops moving, you may open your eyes and there will, briefly, be a message displayed for you in the form of a haiku. You can do this two more times: one for the past, one for the present, and one of the future.
Now, here’s mine:
Great evil doth live –
Labour Party channelled it.
Malignant force reigns.
Not too late, Tankie
Learn bushcraft skills now – big fire!
Society will burn.
Escape joyful one
Foreign country calls – freedom!
Mountain with quiet peace.
I also got the OS coordinates of where I can find my mountain cave, but I’ll not be sharing that location on the internet, that’s for sure.
So, what are you waiting for? Get thine own self down to Box Hill and divine your own messages from the Sign of Jumbling Fortune.