The Eye of Beechus
Photo of a beech tree trunk. On it is some green and white lichen and moss which looks like an eye.
You’ll have heard of the Eye of Sauron, and some of you will also have heard of the Eye of Horus, but it is unlikely that you will have heard of the Eye of Beechus. The Eye of Beechus is only visible on days when there is a milky white sun slung low in the sky and everything is a little bit damp and bitter. If you see it, you should know that it symbolises the need to not second guess yourself. Stand firm, stay true, don’t think, keep on.
The best way for me to tell you about the Eye of Beechus is to recount my experience with it, so forgive this personal and informal piece of reportage. It is not the finely honed, professional type of writing you have come to expect from this nature reporter with a very important job to do. However, sometimes I feel it is best to dispense with formalities and objectivity and just tell a lived experience tale.
Shortly after encountering the Eye of Beechus that wintery day on Ranmore Common, I took a fork in the path. That path itself was split in two: a wide, muddy lower path, and a narrower, dryer slightly higher path. For some reason I did not consider at the time, I chose the lower, muddy path, and had to pick my way slowly around the bog. Unusually for me, I didn’t even moan as I did it, despite the fact that the waterproofing has failed on my left hiking boot. I just paid attention to where I was going and didn’t even notice that I could make my life a whole heap easier by walking the upper path.
Suddenly, I heard a really loud crack and a slender Silver Birch tree fell across the upper path just in front of me. Certainly, if I had taken that upper path and therefore been able to walk faster than I was, I would have been approximately where that tree was at the time of its falling. My no-think, first guess walking had saved my bacon, and I am certain this is because I was graced by the Eye of Beechus moments before.
Readers, sometimes you might look at your life and think ‘what a mess!’ You might think you have done things backwards, or the hard way, and wonder if all your suffering and struggling has been for nowt. The Eye of Beechus is here to tell us ‘fear not!’; so long as you don’t second guess yourself, you will avoid certain and untimely death.
To not second guess yourself means to not think you have a choice, because if you are anything like me, the minute you have one choice, you’ll realise you have fifty. And then you’ll spend an inordinate amount of time and energy thinking through every single option until you are thoroughly confused and feel somewhat like Mr Messy. After which, Mr Clever will come along and tell you that you just have to go with your gut, and then Mr Grumpy will enter the picture and kick the shit out of Mr Clever because Mr Messy has made you forget where your gut is and especially what it wants. Ho Hum.
Another lived experience illustration of the Eye of Beechus’ message is this piece of writing. I was certain I was going to write some kind of psychological thriller or horror story where the Eye of Beechus stood there as a stoic and terrifying warning of some kind. Instead, what came out was an admission that certain Mr Men still knock about my psyche and guide my inner processes. Double ho hum.
So there we have it. Another English legend that you will be hard pressed to find in other folk tale compendiums, mainly because they’re old fashioned and haven’t kept up with the times. I mean, when was the last time you saw a gingerbread house in the woods, ffs? I walk in a lot of woods and I haven’t seen one since 1982 at the absolute latest. The Eye of Beechus though, well that is there for anyone to find and I’ve even got the OS grid reference to prove it: TQ 14347 51055.