The Winds of the Pond

This is one of the places dogs go to receive instructions. People say it’s cats who have ulterior motives, but it’s not, it’s dogs. Not that the dogs’ ulterior motives are bad, mind—I’d never be so slanderous as those who talk shit about cats—but you should know that they are here for more than head rubs, ball fetching, stick carrying, inappropriate chewing, and cuddles. This is a true and verifiable fact. As you can see from this extremely rare photo, this Labrador Retriever is in the midst of communion with the Winds of the Pond. If you are a dog, the Winds exert a strong pull on your soul and cause you to enter the water in order for the being within to attach nodes to your paws through which it provides you with instructions. The Winds of the Pond are actually aliens. I’m not sure exactly when they arrived here

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Earth teeth

In the beginning, the earth had teeth. It was much harder for the people then, as getting from A to B at a pace quicker than a slow amble was a complicated feat, and involved razor sharp attention to avoid damage to shins or toes or knees. The seers said that people stood around a lot at first, occasionally picking fruit from the trees which happened to be growing nearby. There was hardly any shelter in those days, and a lot of people died from exposure or nutrient deficiencies. The seers also spoke of a time when the earth had a mouth to match all those teeth. They reminded the people of how much harder things had been then, when a person had not much more to do than to hold onto their allotted tooth in order to avoid falling into the mouth. All they had for sustenance was the plaque

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