This is one of the most uncomfortable pieces of reportage I have provided thus far. The fact that I have soldiered on should demonstrate how dedicated I am to being a nature reporter with a very important job to do. For my mind is screaming, my heart is quaking, my skin is crawling, and yet and still, I must be faithful to nature and pass her story on. This rather beautiful knot is the winning entry of an under 12’s competition run by the spiders of Tankersford Common. The competition entails young spiders making their web offerings at dusk, and then overnight, the Ice Elemental comes and chooses the one they like best by making it glitter and glint in the morning sunlight. The young spider responsible for the winning entry this year is called Emily and she is actually a nice one. It is very difficult for me to admit
I am excited to say that 10,000 Delights, Vol. 1: A Very Incomplete Guide to the North Downs Way is now published and available to buy from Amazon (all regions). This volume comprises all the North Downs Way stories I have written so far, and even though you can, of course, read them for free on this site, I hope you will consider buying the book to support my creative endeavours. As the title suggests, I do intend to keep on compiling the stories thematically into oversized ‘zines. I will likely release Vol. 2 later this year. It’s more expensive than I hoped (£14.99) but that’s because I chose the ‘premium colour’ option so the photos wouldn’t look rubbish. Despite Amazon’s claim to give writers 60% royalties, they get to that figure by some jiggery pokery (in my opinion as a bookkeeper of several decades standing!) and so I get £3.37
Flat Adder wasn’t always flat, nor an adder. He had an unfortunate accident in his 32nd month which he has miraculously managed to transform into good fortune. This is why no one argues with him about his claim to adder-hood. There is too much to admire to quibble over such insignificant aspects of his personhood. Being flat allows Flat Adder to see into another dimension which is 42 seconds ahead of ours, but otherwise exactly the same. As a result, a great many people come to visit Flat Adder so that they might know their immediate future. He has to speak really quickly to say the future before it happens, and if anyone knows adders, they’ll know how difficult a feat that is. All snakes are languid in nature and therefore not moved to particularly fast speech. As a result Flat Adder speaks in part-sentences. He’ll get out the first two
This is where it all began. Where [Z] lay at the edge of two worlds for 15 days. Just a small thing then. Neither dead nor alive. Liminal and without meaning. When the water washed over them, they belonged once more to the old world. When it pulled back, they found themselves anew. In the beginning, [Z] was one atom thick. So much pressure on top of them, but still they rose to the surface. They lay at the top of everything, watching the blue, feeling the wet; still, inert, but alive. When the ground beneath them warmed and dried, [Z] felt the hard granularity of the sand. Heard the movement of the earth behind it all, in the same way you might hear a seagull behind your drifting thoughts. Always [Z] stared up at the blue. After 15 days, [Z] rolled further inland. Just a little, just enough, to the
As you can see, this rock contains the sunset. Apparently, if you are willing to stand there long enough, it might even become the sunrise. But I’m an impatient sort, so for me, it was only ever the sunset. A nice one though, don’t you agree? I was on a journey from one there to another along the North Downs Way when I found it. After about five minutes of a captivated stare (and the occasional cautious caress), I felt my corporeal existence waning. My body seemed to melt away and then, the next thing I knew, I was on a small boat on that sea, sailing towards that giant black cloud on the horizon. I realised that I was dying, but at the time, I didn’t seem to mind that at all. As I sailed, all manner of strange beasties jumped out of the sea and over the bow of