Jack 73
Photo of part of a beech tree trunk. The name JACK is carved into it and below that, the number 73. In the background are trees and a bare woodland floor.
Jack is an intergalactic traveller who comes to earth for one reason only: to snatch humans and take them back to his home world to be operated on. I’m not sure what the name of his planet is, and if he is part of an intergalactic federated empire or just from one particularly nefarious planet. I don’t know and frankly I don’t care. All I know is that he is likely lizardoid.
Anyway, Jack. The reason Jack comes and steals humans to be operated on is because Abigail brings them back and plants them in high powered and influential positions: politicians, big tech, big pharma, celebrities, etc.. After Jack takes the person from earth, they go through an intergalactic wormhole and end up in some advanced operating facility on Jack’s home world. The human then gets half their brain replaced with an alien brain. At first, Jack and his evil kin tried replacing all of the human brain with a lizardoid brain, but the transplants wouldn’t stick. So now they just do a half-and-half thing and glue the two halves together with some noxious substance they secrete from their armpits. More recently, they’ve also started experimenting with half-and-half hearts as well.
This is why, nowadays, you will have noticed that politicians, big pharma reps, and celebrities (etc.) will have no compunctions to bare-face lie to you. You know how they say things which are so obviously untrue and when they are presented with irrefutable evidence to the contrary, they just double down and never seem to ever apologise or admit they were wrong? This is because of the tension between their lizardoid and human brains: sometimes they literally don’t know their arse from their elbow, or their lie from the completely fucking obvious truth. This isn’t a reason to forgive them. It’s a reason to decapitate and depose them, or, at the very least, to not listen to a word they have to say.
The thing with the heart is new and it is what has allowed things like the wholesale murder of Palestinians to go unchecked, and any number of high society pedophiles to roam society freely. It’s also why they stopped some old aged pensioners from getting the winter fuel allowance, increased the bus fare, and are spying on disabled people’s bank accounts. Half lizardoid hearts don’t feel cold, pain, guilt, or shame.
Anyway, as you can tell, I don’t like Jack and his ilk and I will forever remain grateful to the rabbit who filled me in on all this. As many of you will know, ET was one of my favourite films and so when I noticed that this tree near Womenswold was an intergalactic portal, I hung about for a while to try and get abducted. If the rabbit hadn’t told me what I was letting myself in for, well the moral of this story would be a barefaced lie like: if you work hard and get a good education, you’ll get a good job, make loads of money, and live a comfortable life. Thank god I wasn’t abducted, eh? Now you know the truth: lizardoids are ruining society and pretty much all jobs are bullshit jobs where you whore yourself out for pittance to some lizardoid bastard who lives in luxury.
I don’t want to end this story on a bad note, so I will point out the beauty in this knowledge about Jack. The gorgeous shining sun of truth is that we can now finally unite as a species, nay—as a world of natural earthling’s—and pursue our common enemy: the lizardoid elites. We can get our axes and instead of chopping trees, we can go after the lizardoid leaders and have a great purging. It will unite us as a community of earthlings, frog and Spaniard, spaniel and apricot, robin and Mancunian, etc.
After that, we can create borderless, anarchist paradises throughout the entire earth. Places where humans live in harmony with the rest of nature and we do things like have swift boxes in our houses and only grow things in our gardens which are helpful to the birds and the bees and the hedgehogs and whatnot; and when that happens, the foxes will finally stop shitting in our raised beds and the squirrels will finally stop digging up everything in pots and the whole wide world will be free to drink raw milk or eat fake meat or roast an entire hog on the spit and save the fat juices to spread on things. Yes, I foresee a great prophesy of unequivocal wonder and beauty spread before us, but only if we stop Jack before he takes his 74th victim.