Uncle Cecil is a Mossopher, and not just any old Mossopher: he is one of the most revered members of the Ancient Academy of Mossophers. Uncle Cecil has the esteemed pleasure of introducing himself to you, and if you look closely, you may be able to see one or two of the awards he has amassed over the years for logic, reason, and cognition. Just in case you don’t know, moss are divided into three main sub-types: the Mossophers, the Blanketers, and the Consumers. Although you’d be hard pressed to get him to admit it, the reason Uncle Cecil has achieved such lofty heights in the annals of mossophy, is because he had the great luck of being born in a pine grove in Alice Holt Forest. Of what relevance this, I hear you enquire. Well, dear reader, it is because this particular section of Alice Holt Forest is actually the
This here sombre photo, is of the Bench of Regret which can be found on Black Down Common. It is said that, should a person seek to try it, they can use the Bench to work through their past and emerge into a brighter future. The legends say that when a person—amply fortified by courage, patience, and determination—sits down on the Bench, then the Ghosts of Black Down Common spring into a slow and steady action investigating the difficulties of the Seeker’s past. Accordingly, once seated on the Bench, the Seeker will do best to adopt an upright pose with their back straight and their hands neatly folded on their lap. Their eyes should be half-closed, and softly focussed. Once positioned so, the Seeker should concentrate on their breathing—especially on the space in between each breath—and simply await what the Ghosts have to show them. Seeker be aware that the Ghosts
The lace on this tree is dying because you don’t love it enough. Seriously, when was the last time you went into Alice Holt Forest to tell this tree how beautiful it is? Don’t lie, I know it’s been a long, long time. People say you shouldn’t anthropomorphise, but they’re wrong. Trees, like humans, need to be loved. They need to know they are wanted, valued, and adored; they already know they are needed, even if most humans seem to have forgotten that. It’s not just trees which need to be loved, it’s a feature of all matter; a simple fact of the universe. It’s just more apparent in certain types of species. We recognise it in humans because we recognise it in ourselves. In turn, it’s easier to see in our furry friends because of proximity and what we read in their eyes. Likewise, we know our pot plants need
In the beginning, the earth had teeth. It was much harder for the people then, as getting from A to B at a pace quicker than a slow amble was a complicated feat, and involved razor sharp attention to avoid damage to shins or toes or knees. The seers said that people stood around a lot at first, occasionally picking fruit from the trees which happened to be growing nearby. There was hardly any shelter in those days, and a lot of people died from exposure or nutrient deficiencies. The seers also spoke of a time when the earth had a mouth to match all those teeth. They reminded the people of how much harder things had been then, when a person had not much more to do than to hold onto their allotted tooth in order to avoid falling into the mouth. All they had for sustenance was the plaque
Bethany was a Friesian, but she was none too happy about it. Probably if she’d been a Highland cow, this story would never have been written, mellow and fluffy as she would likely have been. But Bethany was a Friesian and had a temper to match, righteous though it was. She was also—hmm, how can I say?—well, she didn’t half go on a bit. Anyway, the first time it happened was the winter of 1928. Bethany had observed the way the farmhand treated the farmer’s daughter over the summer months and her temper was getting frayed. Truth be told, Bethany was in love with the farmer’s daughter: the way her plump and steady arms and her soft and gentle hands pulled gently at Bethany’s teats was endearing to her. Plus, the farmer’s daughter told Bethany all her secrets, and Bethany found herself believing she was the maiden’s protector. It’s why she