These are The Three Teasels, they’re anxious for your song request. Individually they’re called Fiona, Bottombubs, and Nibs, but most people just refer to them in the collective. In the background is Frederico the Oak, who was once hit by some lightning and from whom The Three Teasels draw their power. The Tree Teasels absolutely love to sing. In particular, they like to perform love songs; they’re keen to understand human romance, since it’s mostly absent from the plant world. I say mostly, but of course you will expect me to whip out some exception from the knowledge of whoever the fuck it is that dictates these stories to me. (It’s sunflowers, just in case you were wondering; the exception I mean, not the dictator.) Anyway, what The Three Teasels love the most about love songs is the wide variety. They feel learning and truly feeling the array of love songs
This here tree is a special tree. It does not have a formal name, but the Society of the Ladies of Blackheath Common told me they call it the Droplet Tree. The Society has lore which dates back centuries, the most important being that only the most dedicated early risers have a chance of encountering the Droplet Tree, as the sun takes the droplets once it gets high enough over the horizon. After which, the Droplet Tree becomes indistinguishable from other trees; the magic is broken. According to the Society, when the early morning walker encounters the Tree, and should they take the time to pause and wonder, they will find a different scene reflected in each and every glassy bead suspended from its branches. Each walker’s set of scenes will cut across a particular emotion. So, for instance, when Betsy first encountered the Tree, her scenes were a scattering of
Uncle Cecil is a Mossopher, and not just any old Mossopher: he is one of the most revered members of the Ancient Academy of Mossophers. Uncle Cecil has the esteemed pleasure of introducing himself to you, and if you look closely, you may be able to see one or two of the awards he has amassed over the years for logic, reason, and cognition. Just in case you don’t know, moss are divided into three main sub-types: the Mossophers, the Blanketers, and the Consumers. Although you’d be hard pressed to get him to admit it, the reason Uncle Cecil has achieved such lofty heights in the annals of mossophy, is because he had the great luck of being born in a pine grove in Alice Holt Forest. Of what relevance this, I hear you enquire. Well, dear reader, it is because this particular section of Alice Holt Forest is actually the
This here sombre photo, is of the Bench of Regret which can be found on Black Down Common. It is said that, should a person seek to try it, they can use the Bench to work through their past and emerge into a brighter future. The legends say that when a person—amply fortified by courage, patience, and determination—sits down on the Bench, then the Ghosts of Black Down Common spring into a slow and steady action investigating the difficulties of the Seeker’s past. Accordingly, once seated on the Bench, the Seeker will do best to adopt an upright pose with their back straight and their hands neatly folded on their lap. Their eyes should be half-closed, and softly focussed. Once positioned so, the Seeker should concentrate on their breathing—especially on the space in between each breath—and simply await what the Ghosts have to show them. Seeker be aware that the Ghosts
The lace on this tree is dying because you don’t love it enough. Seriously, when was the last time you went into Alice Holt Forest to tell this tree how beautiful it is? Don’t lie, I know it’s been a long, long time. People say you shouldn’t anthropomorphise, but they’re wrong. Trees, like humans, need to be loved. They need to know they are wanted, valued, and adored; they already know they are needed, even if most humans seem to have forgotten that. It’s not just trees which need to be loved, it’s a feature of all matter; a simple fact of the universe. It’s just more apparent in certain types of species. We recognise it in humans because we recognise it in ourselves. In turn, it’s easier to see in our furry friends because of proximity and what we read in their eyes. Likewise, we know our pot plants need