Stick Ness
Lesser Stick Ness. Photo of a small stick shaped like the Loch Ness Monster on some grass with a large log and some trees in the background.
People have generally heard of the Loch Ness monster, but have you ever seen it? Unlikely. I once sat at the shores of the loch for ages, willing old Nessie to surface – not a thing, nowt, nothing. In contrast, very few people have heard of the legend of Stick Ness, which is a shame as there are in fact a Greater and a Lesser Stick Ness, both of whom are open to discovery.
Greater and Lesser Stick Ness are found in a particularly lovely corner of Kent, on the North Downs Way between Wye and Folkestone. I won’t bother giving you the precise OS grid reference, as Stick Nesses often migrate to other places. However, they assured me that they don’t stray far from that particular stretch of the North Downs Way, as it is one of the most loveliest in Kent. For instance, the views over Postling from this ancient path, are enough to make any stick giddy, including a human one like me.
Anyway, the cool thing about Stick Nesses is that they really enjoy being dragons for riders. Lesser Stick Ness can obviously only perform this service for small mammals like shrews and voles, plus any insect that desires it; but Greater Stick Ness is open to humans due to its significantly larger size.
Greater Stick Ness. Photo of a long stick shaped like the Loch Ness Monster on some grass with some small hills in the near background.
I’ve got a dragon tattoo, so obviously I was very open to being a rider on Greater Stick Ness. As such, I hopped on and had a go. Wow was it invigorating! We went right up to the stars! I saw rainbows and thistles and tiny baby unicorns and the birth of fourteen different galaxies.
Some people have got vertigo, and so might be put off by an astral jaunt. Therefore I want to assure you that you can also ride Stick Ness in a more terrestrial fashion. Stick Ness does a great impression of Black Beauty, and particularly enjoys long-haired riders who can toss their human manes during a gallop. If you fancied making horse noises as you thunder along the North Downs ridge, I promise you that neither Stick Ness nor I will judge you.
Anyway, Stick Ness. I invite you into their magic world of freedom, gallops, and soaring swoops of fire amongst the stars of the universe and wildflowers of Kent. Stick Ness the dragon stick of wonder. Stick Ness, the open for business real life legend that all seekers can discover. The only question is, will you seek?